A Work in Progress

I'm not a very eloquent person.  I definitely do not profess to be so.  When I write, I try to write how I speak--trying to keep it as natural and as insightful as possible. :) (jk)  I honestly think sometimes I try to hard.  But why?  Why do I feel the need to be eloquent or even deep when I'm not?

I do try to be as real as I can be.  When I form relationships with people, I put my all into them.  I am just my awkward, dorky self all the time.  And when I say that I love someone--even in a moment of joking or humor--it's because I really mean it.  I feel such a capacity to love people--no matter how different they are.  It's not always been easy for me.  I used to care way too much about what others thought of me, and I would bring others down to be "cool."  (Oh, middle school, how I do not miss thee.)  I think back at the fear that I had when talking to some people because I was afraid people would judge me.  How stupid is that?  I can't even imagine how it must have hurt when I wouldn't say hi to people or when I would gossip or say something rude about someone.  It doesn't make any sense.  I don't understand the sick pleasure people get from mocking others.  It brings you, the person you mock, and all those around you down.  I know that sometimes I crack jokes about people, but I always keep it as toned down as possible.  I should cut it out altogether.  It doesn't help anything.  

I don't remember what it was that brought about my change, but I started to ponder about the kind of love that Jesus Christ has.  If you think about it, he is the only person who could judge others because he was perfect.  Nobody has any dirt on him.  He's clean!  Yet, he loved everyone with such a deep and powerful love that cannot be comprehended.  He never turned anyone away.  He never was too busy to talk to anyone.  When he found out about the sins of another, instead of judging or elevating himself, he was sad for him.  He felt remorse that one of his brothers wandered onto paths of sin.  As I pondered this, I felt such a conviction that this is the love I should have for others, and I worked hard to make it so that I could have that love.  I held my tongue when I thought of some joke I could make about someone or when I noticed someone's flaws.  I tried to go out of my way to talk or befriend those who were lonely or down.  I strove to lift people up and help them know that they are loved.  I haven't perfected this or even come close to the love of our Savior, but I must work everyday to try to emulate that love. 

I know that Jesus lives and loves perfectly.  When we sin, he does not say, "How could you have been so stupid?" but rather, he says, "I'm sorry that you had to suffer so because of your decision.  Let me help you get through it."  I know that Jesus feels this way about all of us.  He and our Father in Heaven love us with an incomprehensible amount of love.  Let us all work to appreciate that love by sharing it with those around us.